MISSING

STOLEN UNICORN COSTUME

NO REWARD

I don’t even want the costume back. I made these flyers to tell you that I hate you, costume thief. I hope it looks good on you in hell.

So whats up with corn mazes? Who came up with them? Here my theory:

Farmer Joe, from the Midwest, was thinking 'Dang, I hate it when the corn gets taller than me and I get lost in it.' So he made a path going through his field. Then when he got lost, he could simply get on the path that led him out of the field. After thinking this over, he thought hed make a branch off the path that led him back to his house for conveniences sake. That worked out so well, he decided to make one to the barn, then one to the hay field, then one to the 7-Eleven, then one to the crick. Before he knew it, he could barely remember which path went to where-he was just as lost as he was in the first place. And that there was the first corn maze, the world ever saw.

Heres whats come of it:

Commercial Maze

Obsessed Girl Maze

Blonde Jokes are Old Maze

So Ill say it, Im ok with Google taking a part of every aspect of my life. I like Google Reader/Maps/Gmail/Translator/Chrome/Images/Buzz/Calendar/Docs/ News/Books/_____ and use them on a daily basis.

Theres a lot of talk about how Google wants to:

- take over the world

- burn all books

- create a false/virtual world for everyone

- become your brain

I dont buy it though, I think those two guys who made it are the good guys. I have nothing to hide, Im no spy, who cares if they know I like soccer, or buy cds on Amazon? I believe they do what they say,

“Dont be evil” – Two Google Guys

For those who truly are afraid of Googles influence in their lives, watch this video and learn how you can ‘opt out’ here.

Is it time to ‘get off the grid’ and move into the mountains?

Google > Bing ? (Ill answer that, yes)

If youre a ‘gangster’, do you use Gizoogle?

So lately thinking bout old people. Really cant wait to be an old guy myself. I have big plans:

How to spend time: Sit on an ole porch on a comfy chair watching the front lawn. Yell at any person under the age of 35 to stay off the grass. Call anyone under the age of 35 a ‘whippersnapper,’ or ‘wanker.’

How to cover my wrinkly body: An old plaid flat cap. A Hawaiian print button up for summer, and a fugly sweater for winter. And golf knickers just to stay stylin.

Maybe Ill spend my time playing viddy games to relive my arthritis.

Maybe Ill pick up a self destructing habit and ‘hope it works out’ like it did for this lady.

Are you scared of getting old?

How can I make my ‘golden years into ‘platinum yeas’? Or better yet, ‘unobtanium years’ {via Avatar}?

Do you believe that life will bring you full circle {via diapers}?

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So, lately I have been wanting to get ‘into’ socks. Just thinking that Im tired of plain ole whities with a Nike-promoting symbol on it. But I need to know the limits of sockdom, and after investigating the interweb, Ive found that some people have taken the sock too far:

Slightly morbid. I guess I could see a high school human anatomy teacher wearing them.

Hellow Of Montreal socks. Wish they were real.

Not sure what to think of these lil creatures…

Is the Fox in Sock the OG sock wearer? Did he introduce ‘next level’ socks?

Can someone tell me where to get cool socks besides Am Apparel?

Did the Egyptians invent socks?

Are socks worth it, or do Hobbits have it right?

Hellow America, I now work in an office slash wear a tie to my job everyday-livin the dream. Not sure how I feel about bing a part of a cube farm. Not much sun, not much moving, not much talking, not much of anything really. Might as well be a ye ole slug under a rock or something. I wonder how many people have to go through this 9ine to 5ive every weekday. Its not something I aspire too...

I feel like I can offer more to the world than sitting in a cubicle all day crunching the numbers and trying to climb the corporate ladder to ‘hecka mad bank’ slash buy a mercedes b. Cant we all?

If I had to choose an office role model is would of course be Jim Halpert. This guy has set the standard of modern office hair trendz slash attitude slash I married the receptionistism.

Maybe I should ‘pimp my cubicle’ like this classy bald man.

Are office jobs overrated?

Are cubicles the final frontier for any college grad? Or is having your own office?

Have you ever created the domino effect with cubicle walls?

Should all offices be like google’s? Is the googleplex even real life?

So starting a blog is an ‘in’ thing to do these days. Now that Web 2.0 has been up and running for a couple years now, I figure its time to ‘put in my two cents’ and ‘express myself’ via blogging. A couple of initial obstacles:

*selecting a non-femme background – search google for blog backgrounds and try to find the word cute in any of the first several results, it will not be hard

*naming the thing – Im told the name has to reflect what the blog is about, so I put a few words I think reflect what I want to do with this blog into Word, and used the godsent synonyms feature to find two words that sounded decent side-by-side

*picking a font – this isnt an essay or a report, so Times New Roman is out, but how do you have expressive font without being annoying or illegible?

I gotten past these earliest difficulties, hopefully I can now find a proper place in the blogosphere. May be someday Ill have influence on national blogostats.

Why do people write blogs?

Am I not ‘stay at home mom’ slash ‘interested in design’ enough to have a blog?

Does this blog need a theme?

Is it cliché to make your first blog post about blogging?