Interview with Clair Littleton the Music Critic

Just a few short years ago she was a scared, lonely, and young mother-to-be flying on a plane to LA to put her baby up for adoption. Then WABAM! throw in a plane crash to a mysterious island, giving birth, falling for a drug-addicted semi-rock star, being a pawn for the smoke monster, and then being separated from her baby for three years, and voila, she becomes a cold-blooded killer. Oh LOST, what a show. But anyways, she has recently picked up music criticism and talks here about First Aid Kit’s first LP, The Big Black and the Blue:

incandescentbanter: So First Aid Kit. Another Fleet Foxes wanna be band, just with a Swedish female vocals twist?

Clair: (cutsie Australian accent) Oh my gosh no! Well, I will be honest, my very first impressions of the band were just like you described, but it only took a few minutes of listening to tell they stand out from the mold.

incandescentbanter: And how do they do that? They have losts, sorry, lots of acoustic guitar, harmonization, songs about winter and the occasional instrument that you cant pronounce the name of featured.

Clair: They put a ton of emotion in their songs. You can feel it. In fact, there were a couple times where chills ran down my back as I gave the album my first listen. I hadnt had that happen to me from music in a while. Makes me think of my son Aaron.

incandescentbanter: Statndout track?

Clair: I Met Up with the King is particularly good. Almost made me cry.

incandescentbanter: So how do you relate with these Sweedish girls?

Clair: Well they are very young, still in their teens, but their lyrics suggest theyve done a lot of growing up. My having a baby so young made me do the same. Also, their musicianship really reminds me of Charlie, he puts of lot of emotion in his songs too. You all need to listen to his band, Drive Shaft too (you’re welcome Charlie!).

incandescentbanter: Alrighty, thanks Clair!

First Aid Kit
The Big Black & The Blue
Wichita (2010)

7.9

Interview with Mike Rowe the Music Critic

After years of getting filthy in his famous show on Discovery, Dirty Jobs, Mike Rowe has decided to hit the occupational shower so to speak, and see what its like for the music critic. He takes on the heavy task of reviewing one of the most anticipated releases of the year, “The Suburbs” by Arcade Fire.

Mike: My names Mike Rowe, and this is my job. I explore the country looking for people who arent afraid to listen to music – hard-working men and women who earn an honest living listening to every song that comes out so the rest of us dont have to. Now, get ready to get listening!

incandescentbanter: Hey Mike, thanks for that intro. So youve gotten to listen to this CD a few times by now, better than the band debut, “Funeral”?

Mike: “Funeral” has to be in the top five best albums of the decade, it gonna be hard to ever top that, but Win Butler and his crew obviously wanted to get their hands dirty with different sounds on this release.

incandescentbanter: Really? Please expand.

Mike: Well this album experiments with a larger variety of different styles as compared to their pervious albums. It also lacks some of their signature mega phone aided anthem belting.

incandescentbanter: So what does the album have to offer?

Mike: Smutty emotion, grimy energy, grubby reflection, and filthy ensembles of beautiful instrumentation. All that youd expect for the band carrying indies banner to the arena.

incandescentbanter: Might want to find some different adjectives on that last one.

Arcade Fire

The Suburbs

Merge (2010)

8.5

Interview with Tom Skilling the Music Critic

After years of being the premiere weatherman of Chicagoland, Tom has made the career move towards music criticism in reviewing the Decemberists’ classic release, The Crane Wife.

incandescentbanter: So Tom, we will get right to it, does this album deserve all of the acclaim?

Tom: Absolutely, The Crane Wife will always brighten up a rainy day for me. It shines with beautiful harmony, douses with multi-instrumental songs, and catches your attention with a blizzard of catchy riffs.

incandescentbanter: Low points, high points of the album?

Tom: I can honestly say, these isnt much to say when it comes to low points, Shankill Butchers is probably the weakest song. But the first four songs form a perfect storm of awesome.

incandescentbanter: So whats the forecast for the future of The Crane Wife?

Tom: If we look at the radar, Id say its one of those CDs that only has a 10% chance of going out of style.

Incandescentbanter: Well thank you weatherman, for the interview.

Tom: I have the same exact face in every picture.

The Decemberists

The Crane Wife

Capitol (2006)

9.0

Interview with Lisa Simpson the Music Critic

Lisa Simpson has recently been appointed as head of music reviews for Springfield’s leading newspaper, The Springfield Shopper. Her latest review is of Under a Different Sky, by vocalist, Via Tania:

incandescentbanter: So Lisa, how would you describe Tania’s music?

Lisa: It packs a unique style of ambience, jazzy riffs, electronic sampling, measured bass beats. Real easy on the ears, but full of emotion. It could use a little more saxophone though.

incandescentbanter: In what situation do you see yourself enjoying this CD the most?

Lisa: It would have to be in the library café with some nice Sennheiser headphones, while reading some Descartes.

incandescentbanter: Favourite thing about the album?

Lisa: Her voice. It is provoking and sophisticated to say the least.

Via Tania

Under a Different Sky

Chocolate Industries 2003

7.1

Interview with Rod Kimble the music critic

After completing Operation Fiscal Jackhammer, stuntman extraordinaire, Rod Kimble has spent time reviewing authentic musical albums such as this new release from LCD Soundsystem:

incandescentbanter: So Rod, first listen, what did you think?

Rod: WHat I first thought WHas, hey, this sounds a lot like their previous release, Sound of Silver, but I dont think thats a bad thing cause that CD WHas awesome. But overall, I liked this album instantly, the next day.

incandescentbanter: Is it an LCD evolving and improving their sound, or is it about the same album each release?

Rod: Im gonna be honest with you, they have continued producing their longer, beat-building songs, but its totally fine, I can dance pretty good to their songs and I like to party.

incandescentbanter: So would you say this album is cool beans?

Rod: Ummm yea, lyrics anrnt the best, and its easy to get bored with a couple of the songs (Drunk Girls, All I Want), but at times its very catchy and just makes you want to move. Cool beans.

incandescentbanter: Well thanks Rod for the interv… Rod: Hoobastank!

LCD Soundsystem

This is happening

DFA 2010

7.5

My fave song

Interview with ELMO the music critic

Although ELMO is more known for his career as a childrens entertainer, his recent retirement has lead to success in critiquing new releases from relevant artists. Heres his latest:

incandescentbanter: Tell us about the initial reaction from the latest from Crystal Casltes?

ELMO: Well, Elmo had high expectations for their highly anticipated second release and Elmo has to say, they were well met.

incandescentbanter: Whats good about the album?

ELMO: From Elmos experience with children Elmos learned that simple is good, and most of CCs songs follow the same, simple layout of ABA(B+A). Also, bass beats are driven hard in every song of this album which tickles me just right.

incandescentbanter: Any minuses?

ELMO: 'Drowned in Sound’ described their music this way : "ferocious, asphyxiating sheets on warped one-dimensional Mario Paint loops and bruising drum bombast that beats into the heart with sheer shrill force, and burrowing deeply into the mind of free thought like a fever," if youre into that kind of stuff you wont be disappointed.

Crystal Castles

Crystal Castles (Fiction)

8.0

Here's a song.